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If you have heard any of the following phrases and were offended by them, this article is for you:

• My child was colicky, too.
• All babies spit up.
• My baby spit up a lot, too.
• Well, he looks fine to me.
• You're a new mom. You'll be a pro in no time.
• All babies have reflux these days. 

Most parents of children with reflux usually have at least one family member or friend that can make them want to commit a crime. I have one, and only one, member of our family who I can always count on to say something to make blood boil such as, "He always looks just fine to me". My blood freezes when I hear that. Some of us have heard these phrases in the grocery store or at a moms group. Others have family members who just don't get it. Here at MWP, you are not alone. You are surrounded by others who understand and see what you deal with each day.

Advice for These Situations

Remember that before you had a child with reflux or a special need, you probably could have seemed insensitive to someone else without realizing it. I try to tell myself this to calm myself down.  In most situations, I think that many of us can just blow them off and realize it is just out of ignorance that some people may seem rude or insensitive. They probably don't even realize they have offended you.  Just try to let it go. This is your best bet if you can swing it.

Many popular phrases you hear may come across as insensitive, uncaring, or hurtful. Phrases like, "all babies cry" or, "my child also spit up as a baby" may make you want to smack someone, but try to remember that these people may just be trying to calm your nerves and they don't realize what it is like living with reflux or other special needs. They may be trying to comfort you. A calm smile and nod may be all that is needed to get them to quit and to make them think that you accepted and heard the advice. If they are persistent, just quickly say that you understand that and try to change the subject.

Unfortunately, some uneducated people may not ever believe your reflux situation or just fail to understand it.This can be very, very frustrating. In this case, you cannot convince them, right? Save yourself the trouble of racking your brain to try to figure out a way to sell your son or daughter's case. You can't do it, and maybe time can. (Or, maybe a few huge pukes in their lap will.) I have been there and I know how exhausting it is. At some point you just have to let it go for your own sake. You have enough to deal with already.

I'm sure you can think of someone that fits at least some of the above criteria. The best thing to do is to blow it off our shoulder and just let it go. Or better yet, come to MWP and vent about it here. We will all back you up and agree with you, because we understand!  Surround yourself with the people that care and understand or at least try to understand.  Its impossible to avoid every rude remark, but understand that you are not alone and that there are other mothers dealing with the same thing.  We'd love to talk to you!   

Written by: Erin, ElisMom

Read more about Reflux Information:
Lack of Support from Loved Ones »View all articles«

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